I found it very interesting that it takes at least 2 years for a blended family to attain normalcy. It makes sense though. When a family has a remarriage it takes time to become comfortable with them and open up to them.
The most interesting this I learned in class this week was the fact that people who had divorced said 2 years after the divorce that they could have worked it out. It is a known fact that if you stay in your marriage and work it out, you become much more satisfied with you marriage than you would have if you got a divorce. Also the divorce fees actually cost more than marriage counselling for 2 years!!! Instead of suffering from a divorce, why not get marriage counselling, save your marriage, your family, and money?! I know from personal experience that getting a divorce does cost more money. When my parents got divorced, my dad had to give a lot of his paycheck towards child support. My dad had to get a second job because of this. I can say, that if my parents worked more to save their marriage, they would have been a lot happier. Even though working through disagreements with your spouse may seem impossible, don’t give up, work through i with your spouse. Both of you will be happier and so will your children.
I’ve learned quite a lot this week about parenting.
Parents seem to benefit the most from parenting. They learn and grow even more than their children though family life.
The purpose of parenting is “to protect and prepare our children to survive and thrive in the world they’re going to live in.”
I absolutely love this quote. It really emphasizes how important parenting really is. Even though my parents are divorced, I can see that they did this in my life. They did so may things to protect me and prepare me to live on my own. This quote is definitely the foundation of good parenting. As long as you put your children’s safety and preparing them for the future raising them will work out well, and they will become good citizens where they preside.
This week I have learned that when raising a family, when both parents are earning money, they are actually making less than if only one parent was working. I have also learned that it is important to have self restraint in spending money. You don’t have to go out and have pizza. What is even better is to as a family go out and buy the ingredients to make the pizza and make it together as a family. You save money and make valuable memories and strengthen your family as well.
This week I have learned some more about conflict. Conflict can also be positive. A conflict with your spouse can open up the conversation, you grow from it, and you gain gain new insights and perspective. For example, while I was growing up a lot of the time a had to help my siblings with their homework. I felt it was unfair because no one helped my with my homework and I had to help them with theirs as well. I had learned from my mother that both of my siblings had dyslexia, which made even a simple math problem look confusing to them. Once I understood what things looked like to the mind of the Dyslexic person I was able to understand them better and I didn’t feel as I had before. I was also able to help them with their homework with a happy attitude. Conflict can be a good thing. It has opened my eyes many times in my life.
This week in class we’ve been learning about family crisis. What was most interesting to me was that people within the family act differently to the situation. Some members may become closer because of the crisis, but some may draw away. Crisis’ can make a family even stronger, even though the situation may have been very difficult for a family. For example, during my life my mother and father have been laid off or lost their jobs multiple of times, but because of this I have learned valuable lessons. I being the oldest child have always tried to help out my parents in any way I could. Especially during the layoff periods of my life I have taken up more responsibilities around the house, so my parents would be less stressed. Because of those experiences I have gained a valuable characteristic of taking initiative. This was especially valuable for me because I was a very shy child that would always hide in her room, but when a crisis presented itself, I would take charge in hopes that it would ease some of the stress.
This week we have been learning a lot about sexual intimacy. The thing that struck me the most is that if you are unsure weather certain physical contact is right, especially if you have religious background, you should discuss it with your spouse, no matter how embarrassing it may be, and also pray about it to Heavenly Father. This was both you and your spouse feel okay about it, and depending on the answer you receive from God you will know if that type of intimacy is crossing the line or not.
It is a proven fact that couples are at the happiest right after marriage, but once their first child is born it decreases along with every new addition to the family.
There are things that can be done to prevent this. One would be to include the father in tending to the baby, such as feeling the baby kick when it’s still inside the womb, or taking turns helping with other things the baby needs, both the pleasant and not-so-pleasant. That way the child is not taking all of the mother’s attention and the husband and wife can still have a good connection to one another. The relationship of the husband and wife is very important, even more than the nurturing of the child. Make strengthening the bond between husband and wife a constant priority, don’t be overwhelmed by it, but pay attention to one another, voice your concerns, how you’re feeling, and say “I love you.” Just because you’re married and have kids does not mean you shouldn’t act as though you’re still courting one another. A strong marriage is one of the most important relationships you can have. The whole family revolves around it.
Today in class I learned quite a lot. A little side not before I get started. I thought it was funny that in class we were learning about love and Valentines Day is tomorrow.
OK, so today what I learned most was that emotions really confuse the mind, especially in girls. For example if the relationship is physical from the start and less on an emotional level, the person may feel they are in love because the brain releases certain chemicals with even the slightest touch. This is not necessarily love. This is just one example why people should not begin a relationship on only physical aspects. You should first get to know one another first, go on dates with other people. No this isn’t cheating, you’re dating, not in a relationship. Dating multiple people is good, this way you are not so absorbed in that one person and you can find out how you truly feel without your brain being all crazy and confused. Then when you figure out who you actually like you can start steady dating and getting to know each other better. Go on dates. Let’s define a date. A date, is on a certain day two people agree to meet up and do a certain activity, it is not hanging out at your house cuddling and watching a movie or kissing. Nope. Don’t do that. Do a variety of activities. This is a good start! I’m still learning so after the dating I’m not to sure where to go from there, but I’m sure I will continue to learn more on this subject.
Side note: I’m so glad I am taking this class, I’m learning so much about relationships and family!!!!!
This week in class we learned about same sex attraction. I found it interesting that most evidence shows that sexual preference is not a biological thing. It has to do with what has happened to you in life.Evidence has shown that children that were teased and called “gay” starting thinking they were, if the person was molested, they then thought they enjoyed it because there was a physical reaction, but that’s just the natural body reacting, not because the person liked it. Another factor has to deal with the parents. If the mother is too overprotective or if the father is not around a lot, the son is more likely to be gay. Another factor is if the person watches porn. These are all factors that can lead someone to be gay or lesbian. There are cases where someone doesn’t fall into any of the categories. We live in a day in age where Satan is throwing new temptations at us. Sexual Orientation is one of them. Personally I believe that man and woman are meant to be together. It’s part of God’s plan.I’m sure that some of you that read this won’t agree with me, that’s totally fine, we all have our agency. The purpose of this blog is to teach one another what we have learned from my family relations class and life experiences. We don’t have to agree on everything, but let’s be civilized and keep the comments clean and friendly.
Thank You.
"Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten." 